Love Me, Don't Go
by ThisIsFunnn
Summary: Ross' thoughts about his relationship with Rachel.


Sometimes, when you think about your life, there are things that seem impossible at first. And maybe they are, but some other times, some inexplicable thing happens that changes all your thoughts. That is what happened to Ross.

He had been thinking about his future all his life, ever since he was a kid. But he never thought it would turn in what he has now. As a kid he grew to love dinosaurs and he got to work with them, teaching about them. As a kid he grew to love. To love one specific person.

He fell in love with her when he was a kid, a fifteen years old kid. She was a dream for him. So perfect, so elegant, so unattainable. It was hard not to fall for her. Fortunately or not, she was his sister's best friend. She was always around him, she never noticed him though. He didn't exist to her, he wasn't nothing but her best friend's geeky old brother. But that wasn't an obstacle to love her.

He knew that Rachel would never fall in love with him, he dreamed with that. He wished sometime would happen. That's why he never did anything. He was afraid of being rejected, afraid that she was going to laugh about being so pathetic. Because he felt pathetic, he was pathetically in love with her and it was a feeling he would have with him for the rest of his life.

And that's how he lived until she returned to his life. He finished high school, went to college and started working on a museum. In all those years he never watched her, he never met her by a chance. He hardly heard her name, but that didn't meant he never thought about her. He fell in love with another girl or that's what he thought. He wanted to be in love with another person who's name wasn't Rachel. That's one of the reasons he married Carol. He was happy with her, he only wished he had that with Rachel.

The marriage to Carol ended and when he thought that was the end of his life, Rachel appeared in his life, again. She almost got married, but wanted to run away from that. And she came to the city, to live with his sister Monica and her best friend. That meant that he got to see her every day, he felt like he was in high school again.

And it felt like he was in high school again. In her first night in the city he asked her if she would consider going out with him on a date and of course, he never asked her. It wasn't his fault though. He really wanted to, more than anything in this world, but every time he got to talk to her, his nervousness or another thing would stop him. He hated Paolo, he didn't understand why she would go out with him, he didn't deserve her.

That's how he spent her first year in the city. She would date guys that didn't deserve her and he would die to have dinner with her. Then he went to China, returned with Julie and when he thought that nothing could ever happen with Rachel, he learns that she has a crush on him, a crush on him! Rachel Green had a crush on him! It was unbelievable. It used to be the other way and he was fine with it. He already thought that he would never get to be with Rachel the way he wanted and he learned to live with that. Now that he knew this, what was he going to do? Julie didn't last long and now the road was clear on his way to Rachel.

They dated for a year. It was the best year of his life. He always thought what it would be to date Rachel. He imagined a lot of ways to make her special, to give her the best. But never in his imagination would those dates be a great as in real life. The fact that it was real made it greater. Everything was better than he imagined, better than he planned. And he started to believe that she really was in love with him. That she really was going out with geeky Ross. Ten years earlier that would only happen in his mind. Now they were living it.

That's one of the reasons why he started to think that maybe they could take another step, a big step. He was so confident about them that he could already see her saying yes to him. He started walking in front of jewelry stores to find the perfect ring and as he used to pass in front of them and look at those rings, he used to imagine how he would do it. The planetarium seemed the perfect place. There they had their first night together and even if she was uncomfortable at first, he knew that she loved every moment from that night. He should call to Karl to talk to him, because he was the only one that could help him to put all the lilies on the floor and write the words in the stars.

But it didn't go further than that. He never entered a store. Just when he started to convince himself that it could be real, that in very little time they could be engaged, she started her new job at Bloomingdale's. With that, Mark came and all the plans Ross had, disappeared. Then with the break up, he couldn't help but think that if things didn't turn out how they did, that they could be engaged by now.

The break up was very hard for Ross. Especially after all the plans he made. The fact that they couldn't come true made him miserable. Getting over her would be the hardest thing he would ever have to do. It was challenge for him. How could you get over of a person you've loved for almost all your life? It was impossible, that's why his relationships after Rachel never worked the way he wanted to.

Emily wasn't a bad girl, she wasn't Rachel, like Elizabeth, Mona or Charlie, they weren't Rachel and they would never be. A marriage to Emily was the easiest decision he made to get over her. He was sure he loved Emily, she wasn't as bad as the other thought, but the love he had for Rachel was still there. Elizabeth was too young; besides, her father hated him. The relationship with Mona didn't go well. They started dating just when Rachel told him she was pregnant and in the moment Rachel and his new baby were all that mattered. So, as he said to Joey, he blamed Mona not breaking up with him sooner. Charlie, though, was his last chance of being happy. They worked on the same field and even though she dated Joey shortly, he really thought they could get serious.

None of those relationships worked. In the mean time, Rachel also dated another people. But her relationships were even shorter. Ross couldn't name a guy who really liked Rachel. They used to talk a lot about the people they dated and no one seemed to be that good to Rachel. She was a woman, who wanted all the pack. Marriage, babies and a good husband. She dreamed with all that. She broke up with Tag because he was too young, he couldn't give her that. And her relationships with Danny or Paul didn't get that serious.

Her relationship with Joey devastated Ross. First, he couldn't believe that Joey liked her. He was his best friend and you're not supposed to break the code, you never date one of your best friend's ex. But Joey told her he loved her. Ross felt relieved when she rejected him and told him she didn't feel the same. But when they returned from Barbados and caught them kissing, he wanted to die. Rachel loved Joey? Were they really dating? The dinner he organized was a disaster, he got drunk and he realized that he would never be fine about Rachel and Joey dating. The real thing is he was never fine Rachel dating any guy.

Thank God Rachel and Joey broke up quickly. Apparently she hit him every time he kissed her. Ross didn't want to know the reason of their break up, but Chandler told him one afternoon as they talked in Central Perk. He wanted to smile. Smile because Rachel and Joey didn't get to the untouched territory and because it was funny. Rachel hitting Joey every time they kissed, that was worse than Rachel laughing at him every time he kissed her.

Now that they were both single, he couldn't stop thinking about her. If she wasn't romantically linked with Joey, then why were Emma and she still living with him? He missed them a lot and he wanted to ask Rachel if she could think about living together. It would be hard, because the last time they lived together didn't end up the way he wished, but he was sure that they would make it work this time.

But this is Ross and Rachel and everybody knew that things were never easy with them. Her father had a heart attack and he helped her all the way to Long Island. That night was hard. She wanted to be with him, but he thought that he would be taking advantage and this earned him another fight. When they returned home she told him that with them it was never off the table. What did that mean? He was confused at first, but he decided not to think about that very much. He had more important things to do, he still had to ask her if she wanted to live with him again.

And then her dinner with Mark. He offered her a lifetime opportunity. She was going to Paris. He would have to learn to live without her and without Emma. They were both moving. It killed him to think about that and he went to Mr. Zelner's office. He convinced him to hire Rachel again, but it was impossible. Rachel really wanted to go to Paris and he wasn't the most appropriate person to stop that, he should be happy for her. But he wanted to be happy with her, he wanted to be with her and make a life with her and Emma.

The night of her goodbye party was incredible. All he wanted to do was to be with her. He made her forget about Paris and all her worries. He made her enjoy the night they had, the last night they would have. It was tender, sweet and all he needed. That night made him realize that he couldn't live without her and mostly, that he didn't want to live without her.

The following day was a crazy day. Ross woke up with the feeling that he would tell Rachel that he loved her. She didn't feel the same though. She was prepared to say goodbye. She went to the airport, he went after her, he declared his love for her, she wasn't ready for that. He returned to his apartment, she got off the plane.

From that moment they've been inseparable. They haven't been apart from each other, not even a day. They're giving Emma the family she deserves and they were all happy, the happiest they've ever been. Everything has been perfect. Rachel and Emma moved in with Ross after Joey left to California and things only got better.

Now Ross looks at his chest. Rachel is sleeping after the day they had. Finally his dream came true.

Today was their wedding day. The perfect wedding day Rachel always dreamed. Dr. Green wanted to be at The Plaza and Rachel couldn't help but say yes. So everybody dressed up nicely for the big day. The day was perfect, but Ross and Rachel couldn't wait t have a little private moment. So as soon as people started leaving, they decided that it was time for their private show.

As he was thinking what happened a few minutes ago, he felt Rachel stirring.

"Hey" She said whispering.

"Hey you" He replied, not wanting to disturb the peaceful moment.

"What are you doing?"

"Just thinking"

"About what?" She asked.

"About how perfect this day was. About all we've been through. About how I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. And about how I am able to do this whenever I want" He said as he leaned to give her the most passionate kiss.

"Oh yeah? Well consider yourself lucky Dr. Geller, because here you have a patient who needs you right now…"

"Yeah?" He smiled.

"Hm.. I think so"


End file.
